Tuesday, October 19, 2004


A Melancholy Day

I just feel blah today. No perticular reason, I just am. I am missing dh really badly today. I mean, I miss him everyday, of course, but more than usual today for some reason. I had a dream about him last night. I don't remember the details, just that it was about him. He is such a part of my life and it is hard not having him around. I know that he feels he has to be there right now, and I try to respect that as much as I can but it is hard. I feel that he is missing a huge part of my youngest daughter's life. So much happens in the first year. She was 7 months when he left and will be 1 1/2 when he is home for good. Sometimes, I worry about what could happen to him over there. I try not to think about that stuff too much, wouldn't be able to function if I did, but today, it just kept running through my mind that the baby wouldn't remember him if something happened. My older ones would, but not her. She wouldn't know the love he has for her because she is too little. I could tell her, of course, but it wouldn't be the same. I pray everday that he comes home safe, as I pray for all the people over there right now. I just don't know how I would tell my kids if something happened to him. I don't know, I just get to thinking like this sometimes and can't stop myself. Thank God I don't get this way very often or I would be messed up. Just missing him and worrying, I guess. I just wish for peace and the sad part is, I honestly don't see it coming anytime soon. Allahu Alim.

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