Saturday, October 30, 2004
Another lazy weekend
Friday, October 29, 2004
My chat with dh last night
|Well, here we go again. Talked to dh last night. We were chatting, etc. Then, it comes up, ever so slyly. Honey, I like this job, I love what I am doing, I will never get another oppurtunity to do this kind of work where I can help so many people, etc. I just replied with a mm hmm after every sentence. And then, the unthinkable happened. I heard myself saying, well, if you really, really feel this strongly and you really want to stay longer, I guess I could be ok with that. Ok, my faithful readers, stop yelling at the computer. I know I sound crazy, but listen. This is something he feels very strongly about and something he really wants to do. He would never even bring up the subject otherwise, knowing how I feel. I just can't help but think, if I don't agree with this decision, he will come home and be miserable for the rest of his life. I like to think that if I had a dream to do something that he would support me in the same way that I am trying to support him. The other reason I would consider it is because my best friend Betty is planning on moving in with me at the end of next month when her lease is finished. She would stay until he comes home. At least, I wouldn't be alone anymore with 3 kids. I just can't imagine squashing this dream of his. A marriage is supposed to be 2 people supporting each other's dreams, right? Well, no decision has been made yet. He is thinking about it. I don't think he wanted to think about it seriously until he knew my take on it. I know I surprised him with my reaction, heck, I surprised myself. I would ask everyone's opinion about this but I know I will get it anyway! lol That is great because I want it. I am sure NW is going to smack me through the computer! lol I don't know, it is like when he brought it up, I just knew what my answer was because I know how much it means to him. How do I know? He has never, in the almost 10 years we have been married, asked me to accept something that he knew I wasn't really thrilled about. For him to bring this up, that means alot coming from him. We will just have to wait and see. He says he has 4 1/2 months to go and has lots of time to see what he wants to do. Allahu Alim
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Well, it's official. I am addicted!
|Well, it is true, I am addicted to blogs. I sit, for long periods of time, reading blogs. It started with just a few blogs of people I know, then turned into something else. I began reading the blogs that my friends have linked to their blogs, then going to the comments section and finding more blogs and reading them! it is a viscious cycle that I can't stop. Maybe I will start another blog for blog-reading addicts like myself. I guess it is nice to read other people opinions on everything from religion to child rearing to the situation in Iraq. I really love all of the Iraqi blogs as it gives you an insight to what is really going on over there, from a native Iraqi's point of view. I think blogging is a great arena to discuss things, just check out some of the comments sections on some blogs. People really get going. I think that is great, discussions, differences, likes, dislikes, similarities. Maybe people will open their eyes to what is going on in the world and try to make it better. That would be nice. Only God knows.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Dinner at my house
Well, it is my turn to have dinner at my home. There is a small group of ladies, 4 us to be exact, whose dh's are either working in Iraq, visiting Iraq or about to go to Iraq. So, we are taking turns having iftars at each other's home. For those fasting Muslims out there, you know how difficult it is to cook for one, let alone fast for one. This gives us a chance to get a little break from cooking, enjoy each other's company, etc. The best part is, Mashallah, one of the ladies is a very well-educated Sayda from Najaf, Iraq, and she leads the rest of us, all American reverts, in Juma prayers and such. That is so nice, she is also helping my 8 year old learn some arabic, along with me, too! Mashallah, she is sooo nice. Dinner tonight should be funny. It always is when you are mixing Iraqis with Americans. So, here is my dinner... Bamiah(okra soup), rice, Shorbat Addas(noodle soup w/ lentils), one of my must haves every night, salad, fettucine alfredo, dates w/ yogurt, shake and bake chicken, and banana pudding. You can all stop laughing now!! :) Inshallah, everyone is having a blessed Ramadan. It is nice not to be alone during this month.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
A Melancholy Day
|I just feel blah today. No perticular reason, I just am. I am missing dh really badly today. I mean, I miss him everyday, of course, but more than usual today for some reason. I had a dream about him last night. I don't remember the details, just that it was about him. He is such a part of my life and it is hard not having him around. I know that he feels he has to be there right now, and I try to respect that as much as I can but it is hard. I feel that he is missing a huge part of my youngest daughter's life. So much happens in the first year. She was 7 months when he left and will be 1 1/2 when he is home for good. Sometimes, I worry about what could happen to him over there. I try not to think about that stuff too much, wouldn't be able to function if I did, but today, it just kept running through my mind that the baby wouldn't remember him if something happened. My older ones would, but not her. She wouldn't know the love he has for her because she is too little. I could tell her, of course, but it wouldn't be the same. I pray everday that he comes home safe, as I pray for all the people over there right now. I just don't know how I would tell my kids if something happened to him. I don't know, I just get to thinking like this sometimes and can't stop myself. Thank God I don't get this way very often or I would be messed up. Just missing him and worrying, I guess. I just wish for peace and the sad part is, I honestly don't see it coming anytime soon. Allahu Alim.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Ramadan Mubarek to all of my fellow muslims. I know, depending on where you live, some of you will start fasting today, others tomorrow. I wish you all a blessed and peaceful month. For the non-muslim readers, a little story about this month. We believe this is the month that the Holy Quran, the Bible and the Torah were all revealed. During this month, we abstain from eating and drinking from sunrise until sunset so that we may be humbled and feel compassion for those who don't have food on a daily basis. But, fasting in this month is not just from food and drink, it is also a very spiritual fast where we try to become closer to Allah,swt. This is what the Prophet Muhammed, pbuh, has said about Shahr Ramadan.
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) has said:"The month of Ramadhan is the month in which you are called to divine hospitality and therefore:1. Seek from Allah that he purifies your intentions and hearts from (the stains of) sins and ugly qualities.2. That he grant you success in keeping the fast and reciting the Qur'an.3. When you are hungry and thirsty, remember the hunger and thirst of Qiyama.4. Search out the poor and needy and supply their needs.5. Treat children and relatives with kindness.6. Guard the tongue from that which should not be said.7. Guard the eyes from that which is forbidden to look at.8. Guard the ears from that which is forbidden to listen to.9. Be kind to the orphans of others so that others will be kind to your orphans." Imam Ja'fer As-Sadiq (A.S.) has said:"Fasting is not merely refraining from eating and drinking. On the contrary, your fast must be coupled with:1. Keeping your tongue from lying.2. Not quarrelling with one another.3. Refraining from jealousy.4. Not backbiting or gossiping.5. Putting aside disputes.6. Not swearing oaths, EVEN if they are true.7. Being careful not to utter bad language or abuse.8. Not being mean and miserly.9. Not being unjust to anyone.10. Keeping your eyes from what is forbidden to look at."The Prophet (S.A.W.) has also said:"There are many a people who derive no benefit from fasting except forhunger and thirst."
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Happy Birthday, my oldest daughter is 8
|Well, my oldest turns 8 today and I am wondering where the last 8 years have gone. Time flies soooo fast, I just can't believe it. Seems like she was a baby just last week. She makes me miss her dad more than anyone else because is just like him. Personality, sense of humor, etc. are just like him. I know I have been venting about not having a break from my kids lately, because their dad is gone. But, today, I feel very blessed to have them and dh in my life. He truly is a hands on dad who spends time with them. I spoke to a relative yesterday, and after talking to her, I feel bad for having complained. Why? She has 2 small children, with another due in December. Her dh is with her and does nothing, I mean, nothing to help her with the children. I don't have help because dh isn't here, not because he has this I am the man kind of attitude. I feel blessed at having such a wonderful, caring husband who is also a great father, Mashallah. Sure, we have our problems, who doesn't? But, Alhamdilillah, so far we have been able to work things out and that is what is important. I hope he gets a chance to call today so my daughter won't be disappointed. Getting a phone to work in Iraq is a miracle sometimes. I am just really missing him today, more than usual and I just pray that he and all the soldiers, workers and humanitarians in Iraq come home safe and sound.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
As you all know, I have 3 children, a dh who is thousands of miles away and I need a break. see previous post about nanny. Anyway, I have found an idea that may be of help to me and all other stressed out tired women/moms/wives. here it is:
10 RULES FOR HOUSEKEEPING THAT KEEP YOU SANE!
1)I don't do windows because... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
2) I don't wax floors because... I am terrified a guest
3)I don't mind the dust bunnies because... They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
4) I don't disturb cobwebs because... I want every creature to have a home of their own.
5) I don't Spring Clean because... I love all the seasons
6)I don't pull weeds in the garden because... I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
7) I don't put things away because... My husband will never be able to find them again.
8) I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
9) I don't iron because... I choose to believe them when
10)I don't stress much on anything because... "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!
Monday, October 11, 2004
I want a nanny! :)
|So, it is Monday morning, yes, morning. It is now around 5:30 am, been up since 4. why, you may ask? well, my 14 month old has a cold, was coughing alot last night, then decided around 4 to start her day. She is in her crib, talking to herself, I was laying in bed, begging her to go back to sleep, at least for a little bit! Didn't work, so here I am! I have dh's care package ready to ship. I got everything on my list, including a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies! My older daughter had a good time helping me bake. I got to talk to dh yesterday. It had been a few days because the phones had been done. Very typical. He also has lots of new people who replaced some that went home. They haven't quite figured out how things work in Iraq yet. But, they are getting used to it. Just takes awhile, I imagine. He is well, thank God. I pray everyday that things calm down in Iraq.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Done with shopping!
|Well, got back from shopping. that is quite a feat when you are lugging a 7, 5 and 14 month old with you! AHHAHAHA! After talking to dh again, my short list turned into the NASCAR hat, 2 sweatshirts, 2 outfits for 5 and 6 year old girls, and one pair of Levi's. yes, they had to be Levi's. I think it is safe to say that at least some of the satellites are up and running in Iraq. But, now dh is turning into a one man charity organization! That is great, but at the same time, if word gets out too much about what he is doing, I am going to have to start hitting people up for donations as this could get very expensive. I refuse, absolutely refuse, to send the really expensive tennis shoes that someone requested! Little over our budget, I think! One thing people may not know about Iraqi people right now is they are NOT shy about anything! Not trying to generalize, just speaking about the ones that dh seems to meet. Actually had a lady ask him for 500 dollars to pay for her son's wedding!! Where did he go wrong? He got a pair of roller blades for her younger son. Sorry, but, ah, roller blades are not that expensive, sheesh! Anyway, he turned her down, obviously. He feels bad but, man, is just a working man like everyone else, can't do everything for everybody, as much as he would like to.
Friday, October 08, 2004
How things change
|Well, while hubby was home, I noticed that a few things about him had changed. Alhamdililah, nothing bad, but after almost 10 years of marriage, you notice these changes. He used to drink tea like crazy. Iraqi people are famous for drinking tea and extremely strong coffee. Now, he doesn't touch the stuff, at all. He also has developed an addiction to homemade chocolate chip cookies. This from a man who doesn't eat any kind of sweet thing, I mean no cake, brownies, baklava, candy, anything. Now, I have to mail him a batch of these cookies because he is craving them. I also have a list of clothing, hats, etc. that some people are asking for so I have to do some Wal-mart shopping tomorrow. My items include a NASCAR hat. This is a request from an Iraqi he met over there. Who would have thought Iraqis know about Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt? Must be that satellite tv they weren't allowed to have under saddam? Good for them! They need to have something fun to watch right now. Take their minds off the fact that bombings continue all of the time. Like anything can take their mind off the fact that things are horrible over there right now. Allahu Alim
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Another day with the children
|Well, kids got out of school early today. Lucky me! lol The baby is teething and the older 2 were bored, what a fun day. Everyone was either fighting or crying or both it seemed like all day today! When dh gets home, I am going on a week's vacation. I don't care if it is to the garage, just to get away for a bit. I know mother's are so supposed to patient, but I am only human and sometimes, I just need a little break! He can deal with the diapers and the whining and the fighting and whatever else they decide to do. I spoke to him yesterday. Alhamdililah, he is doing well. I just miss him. I had not planned on being a single parent. It is much easier with the children when he is home. Allah Kareem.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Why am I surprised by people's ignorance?
|So far, this blog hasn't been too political, etc. That ends now. Yesterday, I recieved a call from the FBI, yes, that's right, the FBI. A secretary at my children's school called in a "tip", saying my dh was returning to Iraq in order to do God knows what. I had to verify with the agent what he was doing, etc. I must say, he was very nice, very apologetic, very respectful and understanding of my anger. oh, yes, to say I was pissed is the understatement of the century. how did this come about? well, found that out today. last Friday, I called my children off from school so they could spend time with dad before he left on Sunday. when the secretary mentioned this to my daughter's teacher, she said, oh yes, I know, he is returning to Iraq. Well, somehow, this secretary turned this into my dh was a bad man, a pilot, and she wasn't sure whose side he was on so therefore she had to call in this tip. what a crock. she saw the arab name and assumed the worse. didn't even bother to ask the teacher, just jumped to her own ignorant conclusions. She could have caused my dh alot of trouble, etc.
My dh went through a rigorous security and background check for his job and this person acts like he is some criminal. But, hey, don't bother to ask someone who knows what is going on like the teacher or the principal or me. lets just call in the FBI. I hate osama bin bullshit. because of him and his crap, now all muslims are treated like terrorists, no matter what. I hope they find him and give him what he deserves. That man is not a muslim, as far as I am concerned, he doesn't even believe in God. no one who does that kind of terror can have any belief in anything, he is just a liar. and now, good people have to pay the price and that is a bunch of crap!