Wednesday, September 01, 2004
1st, 2nd and 3rd Baby
For all mothers out there. My friend sent this to me and anyone who has more than one child knows that it is so true. Hope you get a chuckle out of it as I did.
Preparing for the Birth:1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean &discard only the ones with the darkest stains.3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
Going Out:1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.